Rough and Tumble Play

I work in an after-school program with 2nd and 3rd grade students.  It is a wonderful job.  I have learned so much and had so much fun with them.  

We have a daily schedule: Free play; snack; "thinking lab" or homework lab; art/a workshop led by one of the staff/field day, games; and more free play.

One day during play time, something terrible happened, or at least I thought it was terrible at the time.

I was talking to some of the girls about all-things feminine, such as Russian art (very 3rd grade!) and Claire's boutique earrings, while out of the corner of my eye I saw a sky blue, uniform shirt go sailing through the air.  A boy's shirt had literally been ripped from his back.  Freedom at last?

Time froze or I froze time, as I was determined to "figure out" this whole situation.  

The third grader shuffled behind a door to get his shirt back on.  

The other boy involved could hardly tell me what happened.  I thought for sure it was an act of bullying.

As I learned, though.  It was not malicious, at all.  It was not bullying.

As I began the process that day of letting the parent of the "poor" child who was de-clothed know what happened, and as I began writing school reports for this still inappropriate incident, I learned that things weren't as bad as they seemed. 

They were just rough-housing.  They were just "being boys."

Questions that I asked:

1. What is aggression?

2. Are boys actually being aggressive when they play?  Why? How do you know?

3. As a teacher, should I be worried when I see too much rough and tumble play?

4. When is it too much?

After some research, here is what I know:

Question 1:
According to Merriam Webster's dictionary aggression is "forceful action...the process of making attacks...hostile, injurious behavior...caused by frustration."  

Aggression can manifest in physical fighting and overt bullying.

We must consider "fantasy" play, here.

Psychologists maintain that "fantasy" play is not aggressive (source 1).  According to a PBS article entitled "Understanding and Raising Boys," one professor says of fantasy play: 

"A common boy fantasy about killing bad guys and saving the world is just as normal as a common girl fantasy about tucking in animals and putting them to bed."

Question 2:
Boys' play is really only considered aggressive when one child is continually trying to one-up or dominate another child (source 1).  Boys are naturally competitive, but when this becomes a hurtful pattern, a pattern in which safety is an issue, it is aggressive behavior.

So why are boys so rambunctious?  And what is the cause of aggression?

Many boys are naturally, physically active, especially compared to their female counterparts (source 1).  Some boys enjoy sports and fantasy play, while still other boys are more quiet and reserved.

Researchers believe boys are more active than girls, because it's hard-wired into them, that boys are predisposed to higher level of hormones than girls while inutero (source 1).

Sometimes boys like to rough-house, because it helps them release emotions like anger and frustration (source 1)

Research also shows that many boys are reaching puberty at earlier or later ages (source 2).  With this shift in the onset of puberty comes the gregarious, rowdy play and sometimes, yes, aggression.  More specifically, this shift in hormones can also cause poor impulse control and poor overall behavior (source 3).

Question 3: As a teacher, when should I be worried?
One teacher reports that after twenty-five years of teaching "boys behavior hasn't changed but school expectations of how long they sit, have (source 1)."

I think I should be worried when I can sense a real safety threat, physical or emotional.

Question 4: Where do we draw the line?
I think that this again goes back to if there is a real safety issue.  I must discern when a child is simply living in a bad-guys and robbers, fighting, fantasy land and when a child is intentionally trying to cause harm or bully.

Since this incident, I have closely watched the boys play.  They are always running and chasing each other.  They are always "fake" fighting and hitting.  They often try to save each other, though.  They are not being aggressive by definition of the term.  I suppose they're just keeping the world safe from bad guys.

Works Referenced

Source 1: PBS. "Understanding Boy Aggression." Retrieved 1 Jan. 2013 from http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/aggression02.html.

Source 2: Science Daily. 20 Oct. 2012. "Boys in U.S. Experiencing Early Onset of Puberty.  Retrieved 1 Jan. 2013 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/10/121020162617.htm#UOMfillp3FPk.email.

Source 3: Science Daily. 3 May 2010. "Earlier and Later Puberty May Trigger Aggression in Boys, Researchers Find." Retrieved 1 Jan. 2013 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100503111750.htm#UOMfHR0hrv0.email.